friends (part 2)

True friends are those rare people who come to find you in dark places and lead you back to the light.

— Steven Aitchison

I will no longer take friends for granted. (Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at


I have written before about friends; the ones you have for certain periods of your life and the ones that are there for the long haul — both of equal value. But something happened yesterday that has made me add a new type of friend to my list — the one that is there for you when something crappy goes down, this is the friend that you should never take for granted.

So, yesterday, after a week of rushed doctor visits, ultrasound appointments and a ball of stress developing in my gut — I found out that I have breast cancer, which has kindly spread to the lymph node.

After leaving the doctor in the morning, I spent the next few hours texting and emailing people — friends from the various parts of my life which are going to be somewhat affected by this turn of events (work, dragon boating, writing group); I tried ringing, once, but lost the calm I thought I had within the first minute of the conversation.

I didn’t share my news for sympathy. I believe in being open about things, especially if they are going to affect other people. I wanted people to know about what was going on, because it is easier to tell now rather than wait until I am in the thick of things and then saying, ‘Oh … by the way …’  This is me — it’s how I deal with things, but I know it’s not for everybody.

The outpouring of love and support I received floored me. I’ve had offers of cooking, transport, hand-holding and ears which will just listen. A common theme was, ‘Just say the word and I’ll be there to help, whatever you need.’ One particular friend went out of her way to talk to people who I couldn’t. Another has offered to be a support and contact for my daughter. And I have had offers of support and conversation from two friends who have been through this themselves.

All of this coupled with multiple messages telling me I am strong and I’ve got this.

 I have got this. Cancer just better watch its back. And its arse.

And yes, I am strong, but although each and every message I received brought tears to my eyes (and many times, streaming down my cheeks), I know I am stronger because of the support of my friends.

This is my thank you to those people. I don’t usually like asking for help; but this time, I am going to make myself do it.


2 thoughts on “friends (part 2)

  1. I think it is most important to remember that ‘To ask for help is a sign of strength, not weakness’. Stay strong, Kellie!! The road ahead is not going to be an easy one. I am always here for you, in whatever way you may need.
    I love the way you are accepting what is happening to you. Keep standing firm to face the Big C!!! You can do it!!!

    ‘Smooth seas do not make skilful sailors!’

    Janet X


    1. What choice do I have but to accept it … there is little I can do except fight it … and I am so lucky to have so many people around me who know what I am experiencing and who are there for me (you included – right at the top of that list).


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