acceptance (from Jan 22)

We love the things we love for what they are.

-Robert Frost

Image courtesy of Keerati at

How familiar are these words: ‘Oh, I love such-and-such, but …’

I have been guilty of this, and not just once either.

It’s times like these that I wish I hadn’t started this blog, because it is making me look too deeply at myself and my own flaws. Perhaps, though, that is a good thing.

In a nutshell, Robert Frost is right…. to an extent. Love should be unconditional. If we truly love something, then we shouldn’t want to change any aspect of it. Love should not be relative or subjective. Or should it?

Are we saying that if we find fault in a particular part of something (or someone) then we don’t love it? This is such a grey area.

For example:

  • I love the new inflatable boogie boards my kids received for Christmas. They catch waves so well, they don’t hurt when you flip them … but the smell is atrocious. So – do I love these boogie boards or not?
  • I love teaching. Seeing children experience those ‘light bulb moments’ makes my day, watching children develop confidence throughout the year (and beyond) is rewarding … but there are days when I just want to curl up in a ball because nothing is going right, and then there is all the admin extras that eat into our time to perform our core business. So – do I really love teaching, or not?
  • I love my kids. They make me laugh … but they also make me cry. I read in some random parent-help column once, if you are getting frustrated by your child, you need to say: ‘I love you, but I don’t like your behaviour.’ Is behaviour part of the child or not?

Can you love one part of something or someone, but not love another part?

Then, there is the question of whether wishing for something or someone to improve means that you don’t love them as they are.

Or, if we ignore flaws, does that mean we don’t love something or someone enough to want to help them improve?

Oh, Robert Frost … you have created in my mind a confused and tangled mess.


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